


Houses

by tobus (asoldandtrueasthesky)



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 10:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5412626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asoldandtrueasthesky/pseuds/tobus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s a poker game, it’s 1am and everyone is sober in case someone somewhere blows something up. This is not a party.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Houses

Josh looked over Donna’s shoulder at the book she was reading. “What are you doing? It’s supposed to be a party.” 

“It’s a poker game, it’s 1am and everyone's sober in case someone somewhere blows something up. This is not a party.” 

“You’re not playing poker.” 

“How astute, Josh, I really see why you’re Deputy Chief of Staff of the White House. If you must know I’m sorting people in to Houses.” 

“Houses?” 

“You know, the Harry Potter ones.” She gestured to the title of the book- The Houses of Harry Potter: Which are you?

“And by people you mean us?” 

“You’re the only people I know, sadly. Who else would I be sorting?” 

“One of your many weekly boyfriends? I swear you have a basement of them.” 

Donna frowned. “I only go on one date with most of them, it doesn’t count. And you have a tendency of sending my actual boyfriends to _Italy._ ” 

“That had nothing to do with me! When do you find the time to read this stuff anyway? You are sleeping, right?” 

“I sleep more than you do. And some of us actually take the days off that we’re entitled to.” 

Josh shrugged. “Days off are for other people.” 

“I swear, one day Leo’s going to force you to take your accumulated leave before you die of sleep deprivation and I’m not sure you’ll survive it.”

“Hey, I know how to have fun!” 

“You worked at Christmas just last week.” 

“Not my holiday.”

“You work at Hanukkah too. And your birthday.” 

“At least I don’t guard my birth date as if it’s a state secret like Toby. I can have fun, I’m good at having fun, I just choose not to do it that often.”

“Right.” Donna nods. “Don’t worry, when it happens I’ll be on standby to slip you some work in secret.” 

“Knew I could always count on you.” Josh turned his attention to the book again, reading the back copy. “But you got conned with this thing, you don’t need a book for this. I’ve seen some of the movies, that’s all you need.” 

“I bet you ten bucks you can’t.” 

“Done.” 

“Then sort me.” 

Josh gave the first couple of pages a cursory glance to pick up the terminology. “You’re a Hufflepuff.” 

“Josh! I’m not a Hufflepuff.” 

Josh held up his hands. “Hey, you’re nice and all most of the time, isn’t it a compliment? What, is it the lame House or something?” 

“No, no- Toby’s a Hufflepuff but I’m definitely Slytherin.” 

“Definitely the lame House then. And should I be worried? Aren’t they the evil House or the Republicans something? Are you coming out to me as a Republican?” 

Donna sighed. “Another common misconception. Josh, how did I get my job?” 

This was why days off were a bad idea, Josh decided, free time allowed people to develop obsessions. Of course, many people had described him as obsessed with politics but compared to Toby or President Bartlet he his interest was completely healthy. “You pretended you already had it and then begged me until I gave it to you.” 

“I didn’t beg.” Donna frowned. 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Slytherins are known for their resourcefulness and cunning.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I guess you have a point. Though I’d characterise it as more desperate than cunning.” Seeing Donna’s expression at that he quickly moved on. “What am I then?” 

Donna pretended to consider it. “You’re fiercely loyal to your friends and focus on your goals and ambitions to the detriment of all else so often that it’s unhealthy. Slytherin.”  
While he tried to work out if Donna was complimenting him or trying to stage an intervention he asked, “And everyone else?” 

“CJ’s Gryffindor; President Bartlet, Sam and Charlie are Ravenclaws and Leo’s Slytherin.” 

“I could have guessed the President’s.” 

“He’s obvious, has he ever stopped talking about all 54 national parks or how to properly cook turkeys? You still owe me ten bucks.” 

“I don’t have ten bucks. I mean, I’m pretty good at poker but I swear Debbie’s a professional or something.” 

“Then what did you bet for?” 

“I thought I’d win! I’ll buy you a drink.” 

“With what?” 

Josh stood up. “With the money I’m going to win from this round of poker.” 

“And if you lose?” 

He shrugged, walking over to the table. “I’ll sell my soul.” 

Leaving the book on the table Donna moved to watch the game. “Josh owes me ten bucks.” 

“Then Josh can’t bet with money he doesn’t have.” Toby comments. 

“I have it! Just, you know, somewhere else.”

“Doesn’t count.” CJ agreed. 

“CJ! Toby’s meant to be the ruiner of fun, not you.” 

“Rules are rules, Josh.” 

Being the dealer had gone to her head, Josh decided, she was drunk on power. He reminded himself to never help make her President of the United States. Seeing they weren’t going to let it go without someone else to tease Josh sat down, fully prepared to sacrifice his assistant. “Donna said the President talks too much about turkeys!” 

Silence fell. Josh could almost feel the intensity of Donna’s glare. Had he gone too far? 

The President regarded her with sternness, using a tone of voice that no one could reliably identify as either annoyance or amusement. “Donna, do you have a problem with me talking about turkeys?” 

“No, sir.” 

“Then sit next to me and next thanksgiving you’ll have the best turkey you could ask for. Or we could talk about the constitution of the United States, that’s always a fun one. Yes, I doubt they taught you properly at school and a surprisingly few number of people read the constitution recreationally. I don’t understand why, it’s not that long, if you have enough time to read War and Peace you can read the constitution. In fact, you could read the constitution a hundred thousand times over in the time it would take you to read War and Peace but I wouldn’t bother. ” 

Donna attempted to look interested, resisting the urge to glare at Josh some more. She had a feeling she was going to commit homicide before the night was up.


End file.
